Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize