So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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