it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
