I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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