I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
