My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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