I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
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Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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