dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
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Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
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I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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