I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
