Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
They took my balls.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
