i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
