i permit you to call me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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