we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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