we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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