this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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