butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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