i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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