**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
