32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
