I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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