I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
