Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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