as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
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On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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