let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
