I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
