Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
