I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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