do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize