I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
