allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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