OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
