i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
