Your face is a jimmy john
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
