Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
