he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
