Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
