I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
