ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
