why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I need a burrito and a hug.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
