We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
