I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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