i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
