And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
