I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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