Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just pynch a tree in the face
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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