Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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