I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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