is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
