I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
