How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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