Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
