i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
