I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
