Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
