did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
