I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
