Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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