And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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