Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
