singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
