Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Sober January is a disaster.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
