Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
