The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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