her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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