And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
